I am so excited to have joined the GoldMind Performance team this week, having moved to Brisbane after twelve years living in London. I loved my time living in London and I gained valuable experience in engaging employees whilst travelling the world and learning about different cultures and other people’s perspectives.
I accompanied the team in delivering our Present with Presence workshop yesterday, which was brilliant and very interactive. Interesting to learn that, ironically, given I am now a proud member of the Flight Centre Group, that the most common fear in the world is ‘aerophobia’ – the fear of flying, followed closely by ‘glossophobia’ – fear of public speaking.
It was so encouraging to observe a group of keen learners yesterday that started the day with a real fear of public speaking, and a few hours later were up delivering presentations.
It reinforced for me that the word ‘F.E.A.R’ could instead stand for ‘False Experiences Appearing Real’. That perhaps many of our own internal fears we experience don’t really exist in the outside world…and are instead a product of our own minds.
In the neuro linguistic programming world (NLP), we refer to these types of negative thoughts as ‘limiting self-beliefs’.
What most people don’t realise is that the vast majority of the limiting self-beliefs we place on ourselves, be it our belief that we aren’t good enough or skilled enough – only exist because we have decided or agreed that they are true, albeit subconsciously.
When we’re honest with ourselves, most of us don’t want to hold onto our limiting self-beliefs, but we either think:
This is just a collective assumption and in order to change this limiting self-belief we need to reclaim our power, and choose to stop agreeing with it. It can be that simple.
To assist you to combat any limiting beliefs you might have, here is a good process below:
1. Pick one self-limiting belief to work on at a time – it’s best to start with an easy one, one you know is definitely false like ‘to succeed in life you have to have money’.
2. Ask yourself why you believe this – reflect upon your life and write down every instance, every experience you had that reinforced this belief. (For example, my mother’s parents weren’t rich, so as such their children have inherited the belief that, I too, cannot make money)
3. Gather any evidence that suggests this belief is false – think of any real life examples when a statement like this was not true? (A friend of mine started off as an apprentice with no money and built up his business which he sold on to another company for a few million of dollars)
4. Neutralise the self-limiting belief with positive visualisation – this is intended to change the thought pattern associated with this belief so whenever you catch yourself having these thoughts, immediately counteract it with a strong image of the opposite. (For example, if you believe that the only reason why you are unsuccessful is because you have no money – next time you think this, focus on all the people who rose to fame and fortune (like my friend) who came from more difficult circumstances than you.
Challenging limiting beliefs is an important part of building self-confidence, resilience and growth – and is something that anyone can master with the right intention and focus. I saw it happen at the workshop yesterday with colleagues overcoming their fears and nerves to stand up and ‘present with presence’. My challenge to you is to feel the fear, and do it anyway!
Posted by Louise Gautier
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